Wednesday, May 25, 2011

coffee shop confessions

i have been thinking about quite a few things in the past couple of days.  lots and lots of things going through this overcrowded brain of mine and i just need to let some of them out.

1. i am SO single, it is mildly depressing.  mind you, when i was in college, this was very ideal for me.  i could do whatever i wanted, see whom ever i wanted, and just be happy by myself.  now, however, at the ripe old age of 25, it is starting to super suck.  all of my friends are like married (and if they aren't, they are happily engulfed in their courting lives that they are practically married with no room for the single friend [boohoo] *cue tiniest violins in the world playing the saddest song you can imagine*) or they have adorable children that aunt tiffany can play with and them give them back to mommy when i need a nap.  the back story to all of this is that my good for nothing ex-boyfriend and i had all of this until he decided he wanted to be the biggest turd nugget in the world and break my heart.  i mean, i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy and everything, and then one day, BOOM, "this" isn't what he wants anymore. so all of those plans of having someone to be next to at night, coming home to after a long day at work, someone to bring to "couple night" at the friend's place...all of that is now non-existent.  i honestly thought that i was never going to be single again.

no matter though.  everything happens for a reason, right? i am definitely a firm believer in that, for sure.  this time alone has allowed me to do some "soul searching" and start to figure out what i would like to do with myself in the future.  things haven't been easy, constantly hearing your thoughts can be exhausting sometimes, but everyone needs that every now and then.  i have to say though, that having this time for myself has given me the opportunity to be creative and do the things that i enjoy. which brings me to these: 

yes, yes i know i have been promising them for a while, and now i am FINALLY getting the time to be able to post them.  and i will post more soon :)

2.  i'm ready to move on with my life, but not sure where to go.  i've lived in the same place my entire life, and i'm ready to get out.  i have MANY options, just not sure which the best one is for me right now.  but what i do know is that if i don't leave soon, i may never get out of here.  truth be told, i really don't like my job.  i'm stuck in an office all day with no windows, a smelly kid, and no speakers on my computer.  it really is not the ideal job situation for someone like me.  i am a people person who loves to be outside and who loves listening to music all the time and considering i'm at work for 8 hours a day in what i would consider a jail cell, it sucks.  and i understand that at right now i just need to get my experience and move on (like it is a girl scout badge or something) but it is really lame.  what would i like to do with myself, you ask?  well, to be perfectly honest with you, i would love to be able to sit in my dream house (lots of windows, filled with pretty vintage things and lots of natural light), listen to great music all day, and create.  create paintings, beautiful pictures, and be completely broke but unbelievably happy.  me and my doggie, living the dream :) but, alas, we do not live in a perfect world, and for now, this will not be happening.  but i have made  promise to myself that this will happen soon, very soon - if not for my sanity, then for my personal growth.  oh! also, i would love to go to art school [so cliche, i know...].

which brings me to my last and final thought of the day....

3. my shuffle was INCREDIBLE today.  so i want to share the songs with you.  now, you don't have to like it, but if you have the time, just listen to some of the songs.

1.  it iz what it iz-M.I.A
2you got me - THE ROOTS ft. ERYKAH BADU
3.  i can talk - TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB
4.  memories (ft. kid cudi) - DAVID GUETTA
5.  undercover martyn - TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB
6.  anyway you choose to give it - THE BLACK GHOSTS
7.  rockstar 101 - RIHANNA
8.  abracadabra - STEVE MILLER BAND
9.  give me everything - PITBULL ft. NE-YO, AFROJACK, & NAYER
10.  motivation - KELLY ROWLAND ft. LIL' WAYNE
11.  dory's day out - GARAGE A TROIS
12.  ohh la la - GOLDFRAPP
13.  hideaway - MYSTERY JETS (DIPLO EDIT)   

well, thats it right now....hope you guys enjoy :)
i'm off to go "stumble" the night away!


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